Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper

So I just finished Diablo Cody's memoir and I am here to recommend it to whoever may stumble upon this.

Cody's quick and witty sense of humor is just icing on the cake that is strippers, sex booths, and escaping a corporate job to find excitement in shakin' it for a couple GW's. Reading Candy Girl is a backstage pass to the world with an allure that even the Christians can't deny. I was thrilled when I heard Diablo Cody used to strip because I always wondered why intelligent, educated people are never seen talking about their wild days in the sex industry. I guess exploring through the lovely world of sex is only expected of single mothers trying to support an insane crack habit. Sure it may be trashy, tasteless, disgusting, (insert derogatory adjective), (insert derogatory adjective), but there is no denying that the sex industry is fascinating...and a hell of a lot of fun for the people that will admit it.

Kudos Cody, I will be sending a copy of your book to my folks after my first porn vid is released.

Sexual appetites are reserved to the committed

Too much judgement is passed on sex. Everyone is used to hearing people claim it should only be had between two adults in a committed relationship, but those who say that seem to forget how much fun sex is. Obviously people enjoy it and everyone desires it (yes, you too) so why not embrace it? Different people have different thoughts on it and I am not bashing any other beliefs about sex, but I don't think a person should get a bad rep for openly enjoying it.

I'm 18 years old and really not "looking" (never saw how people do) for a particular type of relationship so why should I be depriving myself of sex when I am horny and single? I'm a big advocate for condoms (I recently discovered glow-in-the-dark) and I'm always safe and clean so where is the judgement?

I've realized most of the judgement is passed by people who don't like to have sex with anyone outside of a relationship (I am leaving the Christians out of this one.) I can respect that, and don't disagree with it on any means but I am simply a very sexual person and like to express that on a regular basis with different people. I'm not going to get into my relationship views but I will say that I don't believe in "looking for love." If it happens, it will happen, so in the meantime I'm not going to ignore sex just because I am currently without a significant other.

It's totally cool that people save themselves or don't like to sleep around, but personally I think it's very liberating. You actually learn a lot about people while having a ton of fun (well, usually) while doin' it. I'm told that's considered trashy, but I'm starting to believe that trashy is denying something that you can easily enjoy. I'm not trashy for wanting to have sex with somebody I am attracted to, I'm merely having fun which is what more people REALLY need to start havin'.

I can finally travel the world with Edie on my arm

I don't use this thing as often as I'd like to. Having people actually read it would be pretty badass, but I guess it takes time to make people be interested in you.

I'm unemployed. A few entries back I mentioned an ice cream place. Needless to say...it didn't work out. I'd love to rant about how the asshole who self-financed an entire ice cream store in a location that just housed another ice cream store that went out of business because the location is not convenient for an ice cream store screwed me over but it's totally old news.

Fun news, I am legal as of a week after my last entry. I got a tattoo the day before the big day...just to do one last thing that I wasn't supposed to. "Thing of Beauty" on my left forearm, for Gia Carangi. It kinda goes with the tattoo I got yesterday which I am SUPER stoked about. My right forearm now bears a lovely photograph of Edie Sedgwick. My arms are my tribute to the tragically beautiful. I need to start taking pictures, my blogs would be so much better.

So I am unemployed for the time being. And the birthday money is drained, as well as the $300 I made posing as a massage student last weekend. Thought I found a new hobby but I think I just got lucky. I have an interview on Monday for a job that would allow me to wear a suit and tie everyday so I better bag that fucker.

Sean Cody memberships are the shit.

Bounce a quarter off that

I want to start working out again, or at least start with running. When I had a gym membership I got pretty into it and went everyday. I liked warming up on the treadmill for a good 20-30 minutes, then working on different parts of my body, usually one area a day. My 18th birthday is next week (SCORE) so I'm going to sign up somewhere again. The place I used to go to is kind of boring and expensive so I'm thinking of Fitworks or Anytime. Anytime is really appealing because they are open 24 hours a day. For real. Having another thing to add to my "Lists of Things To Do When Bored at 3am" is really, really convenient. Fitworks seems nice, and it's close to my house, but I'll probably end up staying with Dad a lot this summer anyway and Anytime is right by him. Either way, I really need to whip my ass into shape. What if I decide to do porn when college gets boring? It's called a back-up plan.

And here they are...

We like this one.

Our outfits make us feel cocky.

Welcome to the future.

This ceiling mirror was way too exciting.

Morning after.

She even shines in the morning.

No hangovers, but they sounded so tempting.

Prom Night!

Here's to a night full of serial killers, cheap alcohol and car crashes. And champagne-colored dresses.

Pictures to come. If I, you know, don't die.

He'll come in here and kick my ass